The dynamics of one’s relationship is a true reflection of what is expected, required, and reciprocated of the significant other. When forging a lasting union, one must BE mindful of the other’s mind-frame, emotional state, thought process, i.e. the make up of the other person. This is the only way to allow that relationship to fester into something that brings you joy and solace. Many people say that your mate completes you, WELL, I don’t agree with that at all. I Believe that a mate is someone that compliments the person you are, as a result, you are a better whole person because of it. Even if you are not in a good place emotionally or financially, you still count as one whole person.
I had the wonderful privilege of conversing with our previous BEMagazine Cover Model, Mrs. Jackie Christie. And yes, I said Model. Jackie Christie or Mrs. Jackie as I call our BE-friend, started modeling at a young age and by the looks of her photo shoots, she still “Got It.” The now proud mother and adored wife took time to chat with me about everything from fashion, love, sex, to a promising outlook on life. In addition to my own parents, Jackie & Doug Christie are a couple that I personally admire when it comes to holding true to my opening statements about love, happiness, and the idea of building a nonconformist, dynamic relationship with someone that brings you joy and compliments your existence. The Christie’s, married for 17 years, have turned an annual renewing of vows and dedication of love to a family tradition by having unconventional wedding ceremonies every, July 8th to culminated another year of blissful happiness. Some have called them weird or think that they do it just for show, but for Jackie & Doug, it’s more than just an event. They do not conform to what society believes is that norm with anniversary but they dance to the beats of their own drums and celebrate the blessings of partnership that God has granted them. Here’s what Mrs. Jackie Christie had to say!
BE: BEsides BEing passionate about life, your family, and of course, your husband, there is another passion that lives inside of you, your love of fashion. Tell me about the shows at LA Fashion Week and the launch late this year, 2012.
JC: I have loved fashion since I was three years old. I grew up with five sisters, so we used to play dress all the time and they would let me make turbans out of scarves and turtle neck sweaters and dresses out of our pillowcases and bed sheets. In my teen years, I was able to live part of my dream by Becoming a model signed to a company out here in Seattle and my career took off from there. I model for many national and international brands, loving every bit of walking the runway.
As I grew in the industry, I decided to follow my dreams of designing and my clientele quickly grew to the likes of celebrities and after marrying Doug, I began designing for athletes and their wives. So, I have been designing clothes for a few years now, showed at LA Fashion Week (with a standing ovation), and debuted some of it on the last season of Basketball Wives. The full collection of The Jackie Christie – Black Collection will debut on next season of #BBW. My ultimate dream is to design a collection for Target; I love the way the company makes high-end designers accessible to the mainstream.
BE: We know that you and Doug started dating before his career, when did you realize you were in love?
JC: I realized that I was in LOVE with husband about three months into dating. It took me a minute to meet Doug after being told about him by a mutual friend. So finally, he was in town and our friend called and said, “ok Doug is in town and he wants to meet you, so get your a*s down here. So, I got dressed and went down to meet him that night. When I arrived, there were about five women around him, I walked in and we made eye contact, I saw his smile and noticed his disposition. At that point, I knew this was a nice guy. We hung out and exchange numbers but he never called me. Eventually, we saw each other in club and I told him that he never called, we smiled and talked that night, danced a little bit, and we’ve been together ever since.
BE: How did you know that Doug was the man for you to marry & how did he propose to you?
JC: Doug and I went out one night and noticed this older couple sitting in the restaurant and jokingly said that we would grow old together. On the way back home, we were talking and as we pulled in the drive way, he begin to cry and come clean about past relationships, experiences, and said that he was tired of pretending like he was this tough soul and didn’t care about things in life. He then said that I was his everything and he didn’t want to do that anymore, that he loved me, and I was the woman the he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. He asked me to marry him right then and I said, YES! … We got married three days later.
BE: During your annual renewal ceremony, what is that one that you promise each other every year in your vows?
JC: Every year, we promise that we would always be each other’s best friends and would always communicate with each other. That’s something we constantly work on and regardless of who your partner is; you must be able to communicate. You cannot read the other person’s mind so you have to be able to talk this out and each person has to know that he or she is heard. When relationships end or have turmoil, I feel it is because one person feels as if something is lacking and you won’t know that if you don’t communicate.
BE: Do you suggest BEing friends before ever deciding on a relationship or sex?
JC: Well for us, after going out a few times and getting to know each other, once we felt comfortable enough with each we decided to move forward with sex. And that was about two months in to the relationship. But it is case specific. You can have sex on the first date if you feel that you have such a strong connection with that person. You really know where the relationship is going most of time, so it’s really up to the persons involved.
BE: Do you ever go shopping and hide the bags in the truck of the car or back of the closet?
JC: OMG! Yes, I’ve hidden bags in the closet, laundry bags, remove all the tags and put the in cleaner’s bags, under the bed…. I’m creative with mine.
BE: How important is honesty and trust in a relationship?
JC: I would that honesty and trust are both very important in the relationship. It’s always harder to rebound from a lie because it just keeps building and building into to something potentially hurtful for your partner. I feel that if your eyes ever wonder or you flirt with someone, you have to be honest so that the other person can make a choice to be involved. Doug and I are always honest about our relationship and even our sexual desires.
BE: What are 3 key factors to making the relationship work?
JC: Trust, Honesty, & Respect. Everything else will fall in place.
BE: Would you say that having both sides of the family getting along brings about less stress to a marriage?
JC: At one point, I would have said that it is important to get along with your in laws, but after going through a similar trauma, I say that it’s not that important. I realized that I am in love with Doug Christie and not his family. My reasoning is, you’re not marrying the family, you are marrying the person that you love and if the family does not get along with you or you all have a hard time forging a bond, then that’s fine. At the end of the day, you relationship is about you and your partner and the family will just have to get use to it. If the two of you really love and respect each, you will work to take care of each other and not worry about anyone else’s feelings.
BE: Have you ever considered separation and what if any actions made you move past it?
JC: No, we have actually never considered separation. You know, we’ve had our moments where we argue and have asked, “Do you really want to be in this relationship,” and we’ve been mad at each other. We even go hours without speaking but by the end of the day, I’ve done something silly to make him smile or he’s said something to break the ice and we laugh then make up. It’s good to just take moments away from each other, like going to the other part of the house or outside but never go to bed mad at each other. I honestly “live and breathe” my husband and we made the decision a long time ago to nurture of relationship.
BE: What suggestions would you give those of us single hopeless romantics on the outlook of love?
JC: I would say, just think positively and put out positive energy. I have friends that are dating and they have nice partners and would sometimes say He’s nice but I’m not going to be with him for long cause……….. (Fill-in-the-blank). Please never take anyone for granted. I don’t suggest you do that because you never know who Mr. & Mrs. Right, is.
BE: Which of your books would you suggest for couples experiencing a rough patch but want their love to last?
JC: I suggest that everyone go to www.JackieChristie.com and order “Love Pun.” It’s an awesome collection of pointers from everything on communication, dating, building a relationship, massages, and sex coupons (pun intended). It’s a book for couples written by and from the perspective of couples. A lot of it comes from Doug & My experience as well as the experiences of other couples.
For more information on the Christie’s: www.JackieChristie.com & @JackieChristie